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When motivating positive responses in young children, the Teaching Pyramid training discusses the value of praising to a purpose rather than empty praise that has no direction. In this regard, the praise for achievement and behavioural successes may reflect the room / service expectations, social problem solving skills or friendship skills.
In this article, Moving from Praise to Acknowledgement: Providing Children with Authentic Support (see also below), we are encouraged to take the next step towards encouraging self analysis by children of the worth of their achievements. Whilst the examples still reflect the specific areas of focus (social problem solving, friendship skills etc), the wording reflects exactly what has been observed with the subjective left out of it. In fact 'narrative' is the first of the five suggestions, which literally encourages the supporting adult to state what has been achieved by the child eg. "You have made your bed!" or "It looks like you have put five pieces of lego together to make a shape". Ownership, therefore, becomes more about doing the right thing and aiming for the response achieved because it produces a good feeling, rather than being the object of praise.
Having Emotional Literacy at the heart of what we are aiming to teach and facilitate, will enable the 'good feeling' to have more meaning for any individual child. It will promote agency and the ability to make decisions based on the reflection of emotions linked with experiences. In this way, it is a stepping stone approach; knowing when the child is ready to move from external praise to internal acknowledgement.
Adapted by WestEd CA CSEFEL August 2012 from Hooked on Praise: Quit saying “Good Job!” by Alfie Kohn.
Moving from Praise to Acknowledgment:Providing Children with Authentic Support“The only lifelong, reliable motivations are those that come from within,
and one of the strongest of those is the joy and pride that grow from knowing
that you’ve just done something as well as you can do it.”
-- Lloyd Dobens and Clare Crawford-Mason
When a child has done something impressive, instead of saying, “Good job,” try one of the following:1. Report what you see (narrating).
A short, objective statement such as, “You put your dishes in the tub,” or “You figured out a
solution to the problem,” acknowledges children’s efforts and allows them to judge forthemselves the merits of their achievement. Elaborate on the details of their actions to provide more specific feedback. For example, “It looks like you used blue and green to make an ocean.”
2. Connect it with a desired character trait, value, or expectation (PDA: Positive, Descriptive Acknowledgment).
When a child does something that is an example of a character trait, value or expectation, add the expectations language to the comment. For example, if a child has put away toys on the floor say, “You cleaned up the blocks. You are keeping the area safe.” Or if they helped a friend you might say, “You gave Yoon Seo the fire truck. That’s being friendly.” Expectations language provides definitions for the character words, builds self-efficacy (belief that you have the ability to succeed at a task), and helps the child to internalize the behaviors.3. Emphasize the impact on others.
If a child does something caring or something that benefits the community, acknowledge the
positive impact. For example, if a child has put away toys on the floor say, “You cleaned up the blocks. Now someone else can have a turn.” Or if they helped a friend you might say, “You gave Yoon Seo the fire truck. He looks really happy to have it.” Such language builds a sense of agency (ability to intentionally make things happen through your actions) by drawing the child’s attention to the impact his/her actions have on another child.
4. Ask open-ended questions.
Being curious encourages the child to reflect. “What do you like best about your tower?” or “How did you know to put the puzzle piece there?” Asking open-ended questions builds language and engages the children in abstract thinking.
5. Say nothing.
When children are playing, we often feel the need to continually comment on their actions. This can be disruptive and can create an extrinsic motivation to explore. Let children take joy in their own learning and allow them to experience the pride of their own accomplishments.